How the fuck do you lose a passenger plane?
If it was a little plane like one of those ones that you see crashed in a field that are owned by the likes of Top Gear’s James May or some business type showing off with his mates. Or some oligarch getting a blow job from a Ukrainian model slamming his helicopter into the floor; but a passenger plane on a chartered flight on a busy route? It doesn’t add up. What the fuck is going on in the world of aviation?
Don’t they have a GPS tracking system in them that you can’t turn off like what I’ve got in my mobile phone? My phone costs like £300, I’m pretty sure that that plane is worth a tad more than that.
When I first heard about the Malaysian airliner going missing I thought ‘alien abduction’! Then I though some mad Bermuda Triangle type X-Files event over the South China Sea, something to do with HAARP maybe?
Then my mind started to wander a little, and we all know what my brains like when it goes for a stroll.
After I heard that the plane took a detour after it had switched off its communications and that the two men with stolen passports were cleared of any terrorist involvement I stated to wonder. What if it’s the most elaborate organ harvesting racket ever conceived?
Think about it. The pilot’s family has been taken by some Asian cartel and he is forced to turn the plane and land it on some makeshift runway somewhere in Mongolia or Kazakhstan, somewhere like that. Then all the cartel has to do is enter the plane, get everyone one to busses and take them to some secret holding area ready to be opened up.
I’d like to think that it was run by an alien race but… wishful thinking.
It would be great though if on one of the news reports they would mention aliens. I think that would probably get more coverage than the actual plane going missing. ‘National news anchor goes apeshit in ‘extra-terrestrial’ conspiracy rant’. That would be slightly cool on the front page of the sun. Better than the usual celebrity gossip or nationalist tripe they usually print.
I can see Chris Kamara thinking it’s something to do with little green men. The man is a legend.
I can’t wait for the authorities to start finding the evisirated bodies of the passengers on the idyllic beaches of the Pacific islands. Deep joy. Brains missing, lungs missing, kidneys missing, limbs missing even. The authority’s then have to go through the flight manifest to identify each one, if the local sea life has left anything to identify that is. Have you ever seen a body that’s been gnawed upon by crabs? Not pretty.
I really hope I haven’t hit the nail on the head on this one, the last thing I want is the FBI and Interpol bursting through my front door because I wrote some idiotic blog post that hardly anybody reads. Stranger things have happened though.
It’s probably something boring like terrorists that are pissed off about something and haven’t got the capacity to sit down and talk out their problems so they kill a bunch of innocent people further vilifying their cause. In other words a pack of murderous twats have nicked a plane because they don’t like Mc Donald’s or the fact that the western world doesn’t treat their women like complete shit.
I’d just like to point out that at this point England are destroying Italy 6-24 at half time in the Six Nations, well in!
I’ve lost stuff before, my phone, my wallet, my door keys (usually on a night out) but I don’t think I’d have the absentmindedness to lose a whole fucking jumbo jet. It’s like those to twats that lost their car, so no I have an image of the tower at the Malaysian airport being run by Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott. The blood runs cold.
Who the fuck would let those two fucktards even drive let alone own a car?
It pains me to think that they let people that can’t even spell ‘driving licence’ have a licence and own something that can kill.
I saw a car go past me the other day, it was quite nice, a new golf, a black one two, looked smart but it was driven by what looked like a child. He had his mates with him and I’m guessing the collective age was around 45 between 3 of them. They were listening to really bad pop music. I lost all hope at that point.
It’s when you see selfie videos on vine of people driving and then you hear people getting upset that their mates have died in car accidents. They were on their phone filming themselves singing along to the Hanson’s while drinking a flavoured fucking Frappuccino, what the fuck did you expect was going to happen. They belong dead!
And with more and more people hitting the roads in a time where common sense is at its lowest in my opinion (let’s face it, BBC3 deserves to go and before you start it’s not the only channel that has a high youth output, it’s just shite, what the fuck does Pramface even mean?) it doesn’t bode well for regular folk.
And all those people that hang around car parks at night just looking at each-others cars, please. If these cars were actually that good they wouldn’t be owned by spotty car nerds that think a valid night out is finger blasting their bird in a ford focus outside pets at home.
Keep your chin up thick people, gives us thinking folk a better chance to land a fuck off ‘smart’ punch to that Neanderthal like jaw.